Reflections on birthdays, aging, and why change does not need a date.
The end of one year and the start of the next. Every year, when the holidays wind down, I tell myself that next year I will approach it all differently. Everyone has a bit of craziness and laziness this time of year. I get to add a cherry on top by sharing a birthday with my mother, smack dab in the middle of Christmas and New Year’s. Every year I fumble with plans, and every year it all seems to work out.
It is also strange having a birthday so close to the new year. I feel like I only have a few days to enjoy that age, because once the year turns I am already thinking about the next one. When people ask if I felt cheated as a kid with presents, that never bothered me as much as knowing how quickly I would have to start thinking about a new age.
For the first time in my life, I forgot how old I actually was. At forty six, I had not yet turned forty seven, but in my mind, since the year had turned, so had I. I walked around feeling like I was forty seven for two years, and it completely unraveled my long held theory about the real downside of a holiday birthday. So this year, not only have I broken the forty seven year old curse, I am also refusing to think about the age I am about to turn. I am choosing to stay with the age I am in right now. Is this my first New Year’s resolution?
When New Year’s hits, we are supposed to resolve to resolute, and for me that rarely computes. I know calendars and significant holidays have changed throughout history as religions and traditions are replaced by new ones. Pieces are gained and pieces are lost. From a logical standpoint, it does not make much sense to talk about rebirth in the middle of winter. And yet here we are, moving through this shared construct of institutionalized holidays and rituals.
This mindset shows up constantly in conversations behind the chair. People talk about wanting change, but not in the dramatic, overhaul everything way that resolutions suggest. It sounds quieter than that. More like curiosity. What would feel better. What feels outdated. What they are tired of carrying. There is less urgency to become someone new and more interest in becoming more comfortable with who they already are.
And the truth is, change does not need a specific date to be valid. It does not need permission from a calendar. The shifts that matter most tend to happen slowly, in ordinary moments, often without an announcement. A new year can be a nice marker, but it is not a requirement. Growth can happen on a random Tuesday, in the middle of winter, long after the decorations are packed away.
Maybe that is where I land this year. Not with a list of things to fix, but with a little more awareness. Hair, like everything else, changes whether we plan for it or not. Texture shifts. Color changes. Needs evolve. What once felt right can suddenly feel heavy, and what once felt scary can start to feel like relief.
Behind the chair, I see how much freedom there is when people stop chasing an idea of who they think they should be and start listening to who they are now. Sometimes that looks like letting gray grow in. Sometimes it looks like cutting it all off. Sometimes it looks like doing nothing at all. None of it needs to happen on New Year’s Day to be meaningful.
So maybe this is not a beginning or an ending. Maybe it is just a moment to check in, stay present, and trust that change will show up when it is ready. And when it does, we can meet it without pressure, without rules, and without needing a date on the calendar to tell us it is time.
How do you think about change as the year turns? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
Is It the Beginning or Almost the End
